


Alone Again Or

by OhhMyy



Series: Coming Back To Life. [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhhMyy/pseuds/OhhMyy
Summary: Bucky isn't an idiot, he understands why Steve sends him on missions alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Violence, fight scene, some mild language.

Bucky chooses to plead ignorance, believe that the reason he is always sent on missions alone is that he is completely capable as a single entity. Sure he defends New York City with the team when it’s under attack but that’s due more to location than anything else; if only he could ignore the repentant gloss in Steve’s eyes when he issues him yet another lone mission in some piss hole of an off-the-map place then he could definitely plead ignorance.

He knows deep down that in battle he can be a risk. When he is in the kitchen at home he is a friend; when he is involved in dinners and games and movies he is family to the group who have welcomed him with, mostly, open arms; but after more years than he likes to remember fighting alone (truly alone; not for a brief stint and not with backup, but honest to God not seeing another sole who he didn’t have to kill for over a year at a time, alone) that he can switch off, forget he is in a team, forget that not everyone who approaches is an enemy.

He is clever in battle, knows where he needs to be, what needs to be done and he can fight for hours without tiring; Bucky Barnes is an excellent soldier, was an excellent soldier before he was the Winter Soldier but he is also very damaged, mental scars worse than the ones than litter his body.

He understands the reasons, after having once thrown Natasha into a solid concrete wall with his metal arm when she came up behind him, but it doesn’t make solo missions any more pleasant. Being part of the Avengers means taking risks, putting your life on the line and Bucky understands that but he sure as hell doesn’t like it. If he genuinely needed then Stark is on speed dial and he knows the others have his back but his heart aches a little every time he heads out alone.

He sleeps alone at the tower; hasn’t shared his bed with a partner since before the war. But it’s different, Charlie is next door, Steve and Clint both down the hall; the others littering various floors and despite the relative privacy none of them are ever truly alone when at the Tower. He wakes from nightmares frequently and deals with it largely by himself but it is a reassuring comfort to know there are people he trusts within safe distance; it is not a comfort he is afforded when Steve, captain and friend, sends him on a solo job.

-

He ducks, avoiding the fist that threatens to connect with his face again, raises his metal arm and feels it connect with the bones in Ass-Face’s knuckles (he’s not sure that having his cognitive function back, and no longer seeing people as just ‘target’, is a positive now that his internal monologue tends to give people nicknames; he’s briefly considered that he may have been living with Tony too long). He revels in the pause as Ass-Face hisses and holds his fist, giving Bucky enough time to return the hit, cold steel coming into contact with cheek and nose, sending Ass-Face flying.

He takes a brief moment to glance around, checking for oncoming threats, smirking to himself when he realises that Ass-Face is actually alone and this might be the stupidest move an enemy has taken for a good couple of years. ID entry, three guards, two fighters in different locations. The ID card had been sorted prior to him leaving and though it was a bit challenging the guards and so far one muscle man were taken out in relatively quick succession with only a few blows to Bucky’s body.

He lands a kick to Ass-Face’s sternum as he approaches again and lands another punch to his nose, uppercut, and watches as he crumples and loses consciousness; nose bleeding profusely and breathing shallow. He has never been as cautious as Steve in making sure bad guys survive the fight; he knows he’s a killer and it makes little difference to him that those kills happened whilst he wasn’t himself. He tries not to hurt anyone beyond measure but he feels very little sadness that the world loses a threat.  

He heads over to the back wall of the building where the alarm system is, punches in the code Steve had given him but the glass panel hiding the USB doesn’t open. He mutters under his breath, taking a moment to think through a plan, looking back to make sure the guy with the heavily dimpled chin (Ass-Face is admittedly not as creative a name as he’d have liked) is still unmoving before bringing his metal arm back, landing a hit to the reinforced glass; it shudders against his fist but doesn’t break and he brings the arm back again.

It takes him six punches to shatter the glass and retrieve the USB; his shoulder muscles feel like they’re on fire, he can feel blood trickling from his eyebrow and something in his ankle definitely popped when he kicked a guard but he has the USB and it’s only a two hour drive from Wharton State Forest back to Manhattan; he’s sure he’s driven in worse condition before and since his head isn’t spinning he’s counting today as a win.

-

He arrives back late to a relatively quiet tower; Vision is in the kitchen cleaning and he offers him a small nod in response to his question on Bucky’s wellbeing. It’s dark and he assumes most of the residents are sleeping or experimenting in the lab (but he certainly isn’t going to disturb Banner or Stark at night for no good reason) as he limps towards his apartment. Dry blood is starting to itch on his brow and despite being aware he needs to shower he really just wants to crawl into bed for a few days.

He has to double take when he enters his bedroom to make sure he’s not passed out and started dreaming; Steve and Charlie sit on his mattress; talking between themselves until he walks in. He pauses in the doorway as Charlie shoots up from her perch, ushering him over to the mattress before he’s quite fathomed they’re really there. Only when Steve places his hand on his shoulder does he snap back into reality. Notes the worried expression on the blondes face and fishes the USB device out of his pocket to hand it to him; notices rummaging in the small kitchen area adjacent to the bed.

“The code didn’t work”

Steve looks taken aback and drops his hand from his friends shoulder to run it over his face wearily; Bucky isn’t stupid and this isn’t the first time Steve has waited up for him after a solo mission but it is the first time he’s found the two of them in his bedroom.

“I’m sorry Buck. How did you get it?” He asks, stuffing the USB into the trousers of his beige jeans.

“Punched a hole in the glass” Despite the tiredness creeping into his voice he isn’t ashamed to admit he feels a bit smug about that aspect of the mission. He rolls his shoulder back in its socket, hearing the weary crunch that tells him he’s going to ache tomorrow. Charlie chooses that moment to sweep back in, ice pack wrapped in a towel; she presses it gently to the top of his back, covering his shoulder as she kneels on the bed next to him to keep it in place. He lets out a low mumble of appreciation and feels the bed dip as she tries to stay in place; dips his own body forward to hunch his shoulders..

“Are you alright?” She asks, voice low and he notices how close her body is to hers as her hands press gently against the ice pack on his shoulder (it won’t do much for the top of his arm but it’s cooling the joint between metal and skin that he knows is inflamed) torso leaning forward to keep herself steady.

“Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix, Doll” He feels more than he hears her sigh of relief as the bed dips again as she takes one foot from the bed onto the carpeted floor.

She gestures to Steve to hold the ice in place and moves around him to take an anti-septic wipe from the bedside take; it takes him a brief moment to realise that they’ve come well prepared but he’s too tired to question it. She moves away to kneel between his slightly parted legs (and _oh fuck_ does he curse himself for being too tired to fully appreciate that) before reaching up to dab the blood away from his brow, gentle and slow; raising a small reassuring smile at him. Steve’s eyes glance between the two of them still holding the ice in place; tries his best to keep his face expressionless but a smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

Charlie stands, throwing the bloodied wipe into the bin beside the bed and leans in to peck a kiss to his forehead, curling her hand around the nape of his neck and leaving his eyes in line with her chest, she lingers, closing her eyes and inhaling before flinching away flustered, standing quickly, face red. She glances around the room for a second before doing the same to Steve; aiming to make it look intentional and rectify the situation before she can embarrass herself.

“I’m glad you’re okay” She says, turning in the doorway to offer Bucky a smile before fleeing the room.

Steve chuckles next to his friend before removing the ice pack and heading to the kitchen, dumping the damp towel in the sink and putting the melting block back in the freezer.

“She likes you” He points out, teasing smile on his face replaced with a look of concern when Bucky whips his head towards him and then winches when the action tugs at his sore muscles.

“No she doesn’t. She’s just friendly”

“Okay, she’s friendly. But she’s not _that_ friendly with everyone” He sits back down, hand resting on Bucky’s shoulder again, he knows Bucky, old and new, and he knows the thoughts that twist in his head; he’s not worth it, he’s damaged, he has nothing to offer, but he also knows that they’re not true.

Steve sees the way his friend looks at her, has been watching silently as he spares glances when she’s not looking; has noticed she does the same but couldn’t fathom how much she cared until she’d woken him; having been alerted by FRIDAY that Bucky was heading home, pulled Steve from his bed and dragged him to the ex-assassins room to wait out his arrival. He watched reassuringly as she fidgeted, gathered supplied, fiddled with useless first aid items to make the time feel like it was ticking faster.

“Steve, just drop it” He also knows Bucky well enough to know that tone means the end of a discussion so he drops his hand and stands. He makes his way towards the door, pointing to the glass of water and box of aspirin on the bedside table so he knows Bucky has seen them.

“Okay, consider it dropped. You need a shower and sleep so I’ll play nice.” He turns in the doorway and looks back, watches Bucky heave himself from the mattress, limping towards the bathroom, and just before Bucky closes the door he smirks, calling out “She likes you though”.

“You’re such a Punk” Bucky yells back, slamming the door behind him. Steve chuckles fondly but closes the bedroom door behind him without argument.

“Jerk”


End file.
